Wanna live in a kinder world where its possible that sometimes during lunch hour Dawn goes and eats with insane Spike in the basement and they sit on the floor and she lets him eat her jello fruit cup because she hates the texture of the peaches and she keeps a pack of cards in her backpack and sometimes they just sit there and play cards and he mostly remembers all the rules but sometimes she has to teach him how to play which is weird and sad because he was the one that originally taught her the rules and sometimes during his moments of lucidity he tells her she should be up there making friends not hanging around in a creepy basement and she says she’d rather be there because most of her classmates think she’s a freak anyway and he says he gets it and that had a hard time in school too and that usually sends him on a nonsensical ramble and his voice gets all funny but Dawn is used to it by now. Sometimes she brings him books from the library but makes him promise he won’t mess it up or get it dirty and he never does even though he can barely button his own shirtsleeves. And on the occasions he’s out of the basement because they need his help Dawn sometimes gets charged with watching him because they cant trust him not to wander off and its a strange little role reversal with Dawn having to be the Mature One and the Babysitter and like he gets distracted a lot and sometimes she’s sorta gotta pull him along by his shirtsleeve and she’s like “don’t move. I’ll be right back. Do not move!” But of course he moves! And she comes back and has to find him because he wandered off and its like cosmic karma for all the times she ran off on him.
so did buffy ever actually confront spike after he tried to get his chip removed in “out of my mind”??
cause i was thinking… spike’s dream could possibly be his subconscious replaying (and improving) an actual interaction between him and buffy. maybe she did storm in after nearly six hours, and she did announce she was done with him, but what happened after? because obviously spike didn’t rip him shirt off as they furiously made out… so if this dream is based off of a real event – what really happened?!
it is also absolutely likely (and honestly veryyy relatable) for spike to be fantasizing about what could have happened if she actually showed up. and he played out what he would “totally” say and do in that situation.
and i am just like you spike, either way. he’s really just dreaming about spuffy fanfiction huh?
BTW “no, look at me, i love you. you’re all i bloody think about. dream about. you’re in my gut, in my throat. i’m drowning in you, summers. i’m drowning in you.” “i know you’ll never love me. i know i’m a monster but you treat me like a man.” “but i want you to know i did save you. not when it counted, of course, but after that. every night after that. i’d see it all again. [..] every night I save you.” “you know you got a willing slave […] i follow you like a man possessed.” “i wanted to give you what you deserve, and i got it. they put the spark in me and now all it does is burn.” “why does a man do what he mustn’t? for her. to be hers. to be the kind of man who would never… to be a kind of man. and she shall look on him with forgiveness, and everybody will forgive and love. he will be loved. so everything’s ok, right? can we rest now? buffy, can we rest?” “i’ve done things with you i can’t spell, but i’ve never been that close.. to anyone, least of all you. until last night. all i did last night was hold you and watch you sleep. it was the best night of my life.“ “i’m not asking you for anything: when i say i love you, it’s not because i want you, or because i can’t have you. it has nothing to do with me. i love what you are. what you do. how you try. i’ve seen your kindness, and your strength. i’ve seen the best and the worst of you, and i understand, with perfect clarity, exactly what you are.” IF YOURE EVEN LISTENING. IF YOU EVEN CARE.
